by Mark Mangum
Am I real?
Or Just a ghost?
Something your mind has created to replace your love
Who was lost in his own insanity?
Am I nothing but a shade?
A shadow of feelings left behind for your one true love?
The one who departed at his own hands long ago?
Is this all I am?
I have lost myself within these thoughts
Contemplating what the truth may be
Wondering if I would like the truth if I was told
Hoping that I was real enough to react to the truth if I didn’t like it
And if I was real enough would you love me like you did him?
With all your heart?
Or would I be exactly what I fear I am to you?
The replacement from him within your broken heart
Would I be left to settle?
And mingle in his ghost?
In your mind?
As long as I am lost in these thoughts
These questions I pose to you or myself
As long as I cannot discern which is me
And which is his memory
I will remain his replacement
This ghost of him that your mind created to bring you comfort
To survive his death